Once upon a time, there were three little
nerds. They were given an assignment to build a model house to somehow represent
the evolution of domestic architecture.
The first little nerd decided to build his
house out of drinking straws. They were light and easy to bend and it took him
the best part of one period to build his über modern geodesic dome. He went
back to playing Minecraft, smug in his efficiency and nerdy expertise.
The second nerd built his house out of popsicle sticks. It took longer than he’d hoped because the glue took ages to
dry but, two periods in, he'd finished his weatherboard villa and had permission to hang out at the back of the library reading factual accounts of
the attack on Pearl Harbour, content with his model-building skill and with the
added bonus of dried glue to peel off his fingers while he read.
The third little nerd built his house out
of Lego. Brick by brick, his medieval castle came together with turrets, a
functional drawbridge and portcullis. The dining hall had a fireplace
illuminated by a LED and a small motion sensor that triggered an mp3 fanfare
when anyone entered the model. It took him four whole periods to complete the
task and he had no free time by the end.
Of the geodesic house of straws, he said;
‘Nice colour coordination, Gordon, but I reckon I could blow it down.’ With the
barest huff, Mr Wolfenstein levelled Gordon’s dome of drinking straws.
‘Actually, sir,’ Gordon said. ‘I was
working with Peabody.’
‘Is this true, Peabody?’
‘Um, yes, sir.’
‘Substantial timber structure, Peabody, but
you haven’t used any cross-bracing. I reckon a half-hearted sneeze will level
it.’
Mr Wolfenstein pulled a hair
from his right nostril and looked briefly at the sun in order to make himself
sneeze. The resulting mini-tornado of spit and snot splintered the popsicle stick shack.
‘To be honest, sir,’ Peabody said. ‘We were
both helping Higgenbottom.’
‘Is this true, Higgenbottom?’
‘I guess so, sir.’
‘Impressive, Higenbottom. I like the
ramparts and the cellophane moat, but I think I can see a weak point just …’
With that, Wolfenstein pressed his finger
on the exposed wire that powered the fireplace LED and doubled as an electrical
snail barrier. The shock booted the teacher across the room and into the
bookshelves. A volume of The Pictorial
Guide to the Birds of the World tumbled from the shelf and cracked
Wolfenstein in the head. Higgenbottom eventually got an A.
